How To Improve Your Social Skills


                     
For a member of this society, I think having the ability to communicate with others is very important. There might be many reasons for one being unable to communicate with others, like – lack of knowledge on a topic, or lack of information about the person one wants to have a conversation with, some self-confidence issue, or maybe one knows how to take these steps but is unable to because of lack of practice. But that’s what we are here for, to help you grow and become a better person. 
In today’s article, I am going to share some personally tried and tested formula of social skills improvement system. But first, let me tell you, social skills don’t just entail sharing your own thoughts it also includes listening to others’ point of views, interacting to others from a position of strength and knowledge so others would like to listen to you and most importantly, knowing when to speak and how much to speak.

DROPS OF WATER MAY FILL AN OCEAN



It often happens that in the desire to start big we bite off more than we can chew and later feel like a loser if we don’t succeed. Always remember, it’s not wrong to take a small first step. After all, it’s the turtle who wins the race. 
If you feel that you are unable to walk into a party and immediately be the center of attraction but you want to then I will suggest you start small. First, try to strike up a conversation with people you know – your colleagues, friends of a friend, etc. So that you will have a familiar and neutral ground to talk on and then widen your horizon. 


PRACTICE MAKES A MAN OR A WOMAN PERFECT




Remember how when we were kids and had to give a speech in school our parents used to tell us to first practice it in front of the mirror. That’s because when you want others to listen to you, your posture matters a lot, and looking at ourselves in a mirror tells us a lot about our postures. We take notice of how we might seem to others. You don’t want to come off as either a weak person with your slouched postures or as a threatening personality or as someone who is trying too hard. 
Always remember to be easy, confident, and calm does it. 

TAKE THE FIRST STEP


                                                                 

It often happens in a meeting or a party that we take too long to gather our strength to go and start a conversation with others and by then we find out that everyone is talking with someone else. And then we feel awkward about how to jump in an ongoing conversation and it's more difficult if you are shy. 
So it’s better if you take the first step and start the conversation on a topic you feel comfortable with. That way, you will have some control over it and you won’t have to worry about sounding stupid or feel awkward for having to interrupt others. I would suggest you start a conversation with someone under 5 minutes of entering the room. 

BE CONFIDENT AND BE PERCEPTIVE





Confidence comes with knowledge. As I said at the starting of this article that one of the reasons for the lack of social skills is a lack of knowledge. So, I would suggest you stay updated with the recent news and try to learn more skills so you would be able to widen your horizon. Because with knowledge comes confidence. Confidence is the key to most of the social problems but being observant runs along with it. Being perceptive gives you knowledge about others, about what they like and what they don’t. So, next time you want to start a conversation with someone and you can’t find a common ground, you can start asking about their hobbies. 
It is especially a good idea if you want to impress your boss or want to have a conversation with your crush. 

BOOKS ARE THE SOURCE OF KNOWLEDGE




As a book-nerd, I truly agree with this statement. I admit that practice and experience are important but I also believe that if you read first and then practice then you have a higher chance to experience a win rather that if you jump in without any theoretical knowledge. I would suggest you read books to improve your social skills.
You can try – How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie or The Social Skills Guidebook by Chris MacLeod. 

BE A GOOD LISTENER

As I already mentioned, social skills also include listening to others and trying to understand their point of view. It’s a very important point. No one wants to talk to a self-obsessed person. Use what you have observed about the other person and ask them about their hobbies, it will make them feel special and you will come off as a charming and caring person. 
Not only that, remember the stories people have told about themselves so that next time you talk to them you can ask questions related to the stories they have shared with you.


TRY TO BE MORE INTERACTIVE

Most of the time, this happens with us that we want to interact with someone but we feel so socially awkward that we use books, phones or headphones as shields to hide behind. We should stop doing that. If you are amidst people, try to be more interactive with them so that you won’t regret missing out on the chance later on.  


CONCLUDING SECTION

I have shared with you, today some tips on how to improve your social skills but please remember, whatever I have discussed today it is only for those people who want to be social and for some reason are unable to. If you are happy being in your shell and being an introvert there is no reason to change yourself. Your happiness and your self-growth are my mottoes here not making you something you are not or not even want to be just so you could conform to societal norms.I hope you stay happy and healthy.

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 ~Deepa